i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
