I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
