You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
be right there i have to get my cape
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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