so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
