Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
