I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
