yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
