Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
