My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
