Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
