Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
