During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
