Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
