I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize