You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
