I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He kissed a someone with a penis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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