what day is it and did you see me today?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
