I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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