i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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