I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
