Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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