I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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