What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize