we're chasing vodka with high fives
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
