Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
