the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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