New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
