I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize