Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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