the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
