Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
