At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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