so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
