just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
