3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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