If i come over, it means nothing
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
420 ftw
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
