everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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