It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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