I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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