It's Friday. Sex?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
