my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize