try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
