Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
