I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
