please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
