i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
