I just gift wrapped bread.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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