Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
