What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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