My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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