I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
