You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
