i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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