Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
