Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
