My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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