he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize