THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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