It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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