Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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