Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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