Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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