Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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